This Saturday morning, as I write this, is the first whole Saturday, I mean the entire 24 hour period, where I've had nothing to do since...probably sometime in April. I think. Thanks to my schedule I woke up promptly at the end of 7 hours of sleep and then immediately said "no deal", turned back over, and woke up at 10. I can't remember sleeping that late since, well, sometime in April. People have kept telling me I need to rest, take a chill pill, and relax. Well, quite frankly I haven't had time to do any of that. The times that I have had I've been too over clocked on everything else that the few short hours I did have were eventually taken over. It seems I have forgotten how to not run at full speed ahead.
When I got out of bed this morning I was haunted by the thought I would have a whole day of nothing to do. There was no money to be made. No kids screaming my name. My friends were busy, and I couldn't do the things I needed to take care of because it was Saturday. I haven't had this amount of nothing to do since...sometime in April.
Where all this has left me, however, is at the corner of exhausted and blown out. Everything, including things I love doing, have become tiresome. Hanging out in large groups is difficult. Leading worship teams has become more work than desire. And doing much of anything requires me buckling down to finish. The catch here is though that since I've been going so hard for so long I also can't seem to sit still. The thought of being home all day is horrifying, but certainly no worse than actually going out and getting stuff done.
The good news is that I don't have anywhere to be. Nowhere to go. Nothing I HAVE to do. I have to refuel the tanks. I can't remember the last time I sat down with my guitar and just worshipped on my own for the joy of it. Not to mention doing a cool arrangement of "In Christ Alone" in Drop D tuning. I watched my favorite show ever, Top Gear, this morning because I could. I don't watch TV anything anymore. It has been refreshing.
What has been the hardest, though, has been that with running all around serving God and such, I haven't done so well in spending time with the one I serve. That's just silly considering he wants me to serve him far less than he wants me to just be with him. That lack of time with God has resulted in a total upending of my spiritual disciplines and the consequential thrashing that comes with not being in step with the Spirit. The Enemy has been thwomping me something fierce and I haven't had the strength, will, or energy to fight back. That changes right now.
As I've been getting thwomped and wondering how I let myself get into this mess the same thing continues to become apparent: I am a sinful person. I am not anywhere near as good as I think I am. And I certainly can do far less on my own than I hoped I could. Seriously, we have NOTHING if we don't have Christ. I have nothing. I'm nowhere. I'm bankrupt. Kaput.
The theme for Fryathon, the High School summer camp at Camarillo Community Church, this year was "A New Hope" ripped directly from Star Wars Episode IV. If you know me, you know I know this movie quite well...in addition to the two that follow it. I haven't watched them in sometime but I am continually amazed at how much more I glean from things, especially movies and books, the older I get. Mark Hamill, a.k.a. Luke Skywalker, once said that in Star Wars the "Force" is "religions greatest hits." Ain't that the truth. What really struck me this time around as I watched all 6 movies in a week was two things.
1. Han Solo is still the coolest character in anything ever.
2. The Force is ridiculously cool idea.
The Force is the pervasive energy field that governs all life in Star Wars universe. It can be manipulated, used for personal gain and such, but it is also living and has a will of its own. I did a lot of reading up on it all recently but I won't bore you with all of that. What I will certainly venture into is how we, as Christ followers, need to have the same peace in our identity as Jedi do.
Jedi know who they are and why they are here. But most importantly, they know that they have absolutely nothing without the Force. Yoda constantly instructs Luke that a Jedi's power FLOWS from the Force. I will stop all the Star Wars stuff here. The important thing here is that their power flows from the force, just as our life flows from the Spirit. Paul talks about being "in step" with the Spirit of God. It is not a received once, "game over", thing. We must follow and allow the Spirit to flow if we are to have the upwelling of life. Busyness will quickly put the kibosh to that. We must be disciplined in how we pursue God, but discipline must not become our God since our love for discipline will run out far quicker than our love for God will.
To sum all this up, whatever you have to do today, MAKE time to pray, think, meditate, whatever you want to call it, and spend time with God. Read the Word. Know what He has to say by doing so, and know that he is filling you up as you do. Put the right fuel in and you'll get only good stuff out.
When I got out of bed this morning I was haunted by the thought I would have a whole day of nothing to do. There was no money to be made. No kids screaming my name. My friends were busy, and I couldn't do the things I needed to take care of because it was Saturday. I haven't had this amount of nothing to do since...sometime in April.
Where all this has left me, however, is at the corner of exhausted and blown out. Everything, including things I love doing, have become tiresome. Hanging out in large groups is difficult. Leading worship teams has become more work than desire. And doing much of anything requires me buckling down to finish. The catch here is though that since I've been going so hard for so long I also can't seem to sit still. The thought of being home all day is horrifying, but certainly no worse than actually going out and getting stuff done.
The good news is that I don't have anywhere to be. Nowhere to go. Nothing I HAVE to do. I have to refuel the tanks. I can't remember the last time I sat down with my guitar and just worshipped on my own for the joy of it. Not to mention doing a cool arrangement of "In Christ Alone" in Drop D tuning. I watched my favorite show ever, Top Gear, this morning because I could. I don't watch TV anything anymore. It has been refreshing.
What has been the hardest, though, has been that with running all around serving God and such, I haven't done so well in spending time with the one I serve. That's just silly considering he wants me to serve him far less than he wants me to just be with him. That lack of time with God has resulted in a total upending of my spiritual disciplines and the consequential thrashing that comes with not being in step with the Spirit. The Enemy has been thwomping me something fierce and I haven't had the strength, will, or energy to fight back. That changes right now.
As I've been getting thwomped and wondering how I let myself get into this mess the same thing continues to become apparent: I am a sinful person. I am not anywhere near as good as I think I am. And I certainly can do far less on my own than I hoped I could. Seriously, we have NOTHING if we don't have Christ. I have nothing. I'm nowhere. I'm bankrupt. Kaput.
The theme for Fryathon, the High School summer camp at Camarillo Community Church, this year was "A New Hope" ripped directly from Star Wars Episode IV. If you know me, you know I know this movie quite well...in addition to the two that follow it. I haven't watched them in sometime but I am continually amazed at how much more I glean from things, especially movies and books, the older I get. Mark Hamill, a.k.a. Luke Skywalker, once said that in Star Wars the "Force" is "religions greatest hits." Ain't that the truth. What really struck me this time around as I watched all 6 movies in a week was two things.
1. Han Solo is still the coolest character in anything ever.
2. The Force is ridiculously cool idea.
The Force is the pervasive energy field that governs all life in Star Wars universe. It can be manipulated, used for personal gain and such, but it is also living and has a will of its own. I did a lot of reading up on it all recently but I won't bore you with all of that. What I will certainly venture into is how we, as Christ followers, need to have the same peace in our identity as Jedi do.
Jedi know who they are and why they are here. But most importantly, they know that they have absolutely nothing without the Force. Yoda constantly instructs Luke that a Jedi's power FLOWS from the Force. I will stop all the Star Wars stuff here. The important thing here is that their power flows from the force, just as our life flows from the Spirit. Paul talks about being "in step" with the Spirit of God. It is not a received once, "game over", thing. We must follow and allow the Spirit to flow if we are to have the upwelling of life. Busyness will quickly put the kibosh to that. We must be disciplined in how we pursue God, but discipline must not become our God since our love for discipline will run out far quicker than our love for God will.
To sum all this up, whatever you have to do today, MAKE time to pray, think, meditate, whatever you want to call it, and spend time with God. Read the Word. Know what He has to say by doing so, and know that he is filling you up as you do. Put the right fuel in and you'll get only good stuff out.
