Getting My Wings

If you're reading this at all it's a good bet you're well aware I'm moving to Rwanda in the fall.  If you didn't know that and want to know more please refer to the previous two posts on this blog.  They'll give you all the deets you can handle.  I promise.

I've never done a blog but even just in writing this far there is one thing I am well aware of and will be sure of which to take full advantage: I can be as informal as I want.  I can literall just have word vomit all over this text box and it's totally fine.  Why? Because it's my blog.  I can say what I like and most of this space will be taken as record keeping and external processing.  I'm a talker.  If you didn't know that you don't know me.  I need to say things to get through them well.  I need to talk before I talk if you catch my drift here.  What this blog enables me to do, particularly in lonelier settings, is have that outlet to put thoughts down in a way that is so much faster and kinder to my ADD/ADHD than writing by hand in a journal.  That has its merits but my goodness it takes forever.

Here's a story I never got to tell in any of my emails simply for the sake of brevity which I still managed to fail at accomplishing.  Whatever.  That's what this is for now.

The Monday after I met with Hilliary I called up my cousin Gordon to pray.  We do that fairly regularly and I really miss our normal Wednesday lunches we enjoyed together when I lived in Santa Barbara.  It would be tough for me to feel more blessed by our relationship than I already do.  But I've been wrong before.

Anyway, as we were praying and seeking the Father and what He had to say about all this Gordon said "I feel like God is saying...well, hold on.  Back up.  So my dad was the procurement officer on a navy carrier for a long time.  His job was to make sure that everyone on that whole ship had what they needed to do their job.  The thing is though that everything that happens on an aircraft carrier boils down to the hundred seats in that briefing room for the pilots.  The whole reason that ship exists is for those pilots to get out and do their job and so everyone else's job on that ship is to make sure those pilots can fly.  They are uniquely suited physically and mentally for that job.  They are highly trained and educated for it.  In other words, they do what no one else on that boat can because that's who they were made to be."  Then he said something that blew me away.  "Ryan, God is saying you're his pilot."

I took a serious time out right there.  When I was a little boy living in Long Beach, my parents would take me to the Long Beach Airport, which was right across the freeway from where we lived on Signal Hill, and let me watch the airplanes for hours.  I was obsessed by a single minded notion and dream of being a pilot in the Navy and landing on an aircraft carrier in the middle of nothing but water. I had airplane toys, I had flash cards, my cousins and I all had WWII bomber jackets, and I went to every airshow I could in Southern California.  I've seen the Blue Angels more than a dozen times.  I wanted nothing more than to be a pilot.  Eventually though the years wore away that dream.  My ears were a mess and my math wasn't good enough and I gave up the dream of being a pilot.

Now here's the crazy part.  Gordon didn't know any of this.  I had never told him.  Most of my closest friends don't even know about this.  How could he possibly have known how effective that word about God saying I was his "pilot" was going to be for me?  Answer: He couldn't.  The mathematical probability of that happening with that specific story happening by accident is just way too ridiculous to even think about.

After I told Gordon all this all he could say was "WOW".  I mean, what else was there to say?  We both shared such joy with the Father God in that moment.  God had not forgotten my dream, even if I did.  It may look a little different but it's the same.  If he says I'm his pilot, I'm his man.  He's got me for life.  The plane will be different, the place I'm landing will be different, but my position as "pilot" is no different.  I am uniquely qualified to reach these boys and minister to them.  I do not have other limitations that some people may have (i.e. I am single, mobile, flexible, and want to go), and I have the life experience to reach them about healing with their father's that many others do not.  I am the man for this job and I can say as far as I know that I personally know no one better equipped to serve these boys in the manner I am called to serve them.

With all this comes the part about the rest of the ship.  What a wonderful picture of the church.  An aircraft carrier, man.  A floating city (city on a hill???) that can go wherever it is needed and each person on that ship is gifted specifically to serve the mission of that ship (church).  I LOVE that.  God has gifted each of us differently.  That ship could not function without cooks (God forbid!!), mechanics, commanders, etc.  Those pilots mean nothing if the planes don't work or their bodies fail because there's no doctor around to help.  What I'm saying is this: As a "pilot" I can do nothing without the support of those around me.  Financial and prayerful support makes me able to "fly".   From now on you are my flight crew and as my friend Jim said, "you're deployed, now we just need you on station".  Amen.

The next couple months will hold a lot.  Let's hang on tight crew and see what the Captain wants to do and where He wants to take us!!

Email Update #2

Hi all, 

Thank you for praying for my meeting with my Missions Pastor, Kenny.  It went really well.  He and I pretty much always have a good time.  We talked all about what I will be doing in Rwanda  we are looking forward to having my proposal presented and an interview with the Elder board at my home church on June 8th.  Everything will move forward more fully from there depending on their decision to endorse and support me or not as a missionary from Camarillo Community Church.  That will entail financial support as well being able to present what I will be doing in front of the congregation and raising more support that way.  I hope to have a table set up to let people know what's going on and to get contact information as well.  

I have really been moving hard and fast on getting some health insurance to take care of my eardrum.  The hole I've had in my eardrum for the last 18 months or so can only be fixed by a surgical graft and has already been seen and diagnosed by my family physician and a specialist.  I have not had health insurance for the last three years, and have been off of my parent's insurance for five.  What this means is that I either get insurance or pay out of pocket.  Both of these however cost money I don't have.  The Lord brought to mind an old family friend this week, Ray Tuttle, who sells insurance, and was kind enough to give me all the ins and outs I would need to know to move forward with this.  I will need to get insurance with the lowest possible deductible, preferably $0, but the highest monthly payment.  Most of the plans I have seen put this at about $300 per month which is, quite frankly, well beyond my reach financially.  The plan is to get the insurance, have the surgery ASAP (hopefully by the middle of June, end of June at the latest.  I don't want to fly too soon after a surgically repaired eardrum), have whatever checkups are needed, and be cleared to leave in early September.

Where you all come in is with prayer first and foremost.  You all are my support, my team, my friends, my family, and I covet your prayers for me and your support.  This issue however requires prayer and action as well.  If you are interested in supporting me financially in this manner to prepare for my trip to Rwanda please email me back for details.  I cannot apply for the insurance until I have payment to go along with the application.  Please prayerfully consider giving to this immediate and serious need.  Having my eardrum whole again after a year and half will go along way to being able to be more effective in the mission field.

In other news my new blog is almost up and running along with new more exciting emails.  Seriously, they're so close…they just have required a lot more time to hammer out than I anticipated.  Keep a weather eye out in the coming days and weeks.  

I deeply appreciate all your prayers and support and pray blessing over you in Jesus' name!  This week's memory verse for me was 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18.  

¹⁶Rejoice always, ¹⁷pray without ceasing,¹⁸give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 

Email Update #1

Dearest family, friends, and people I live my life with and have shaped me one way or another, 

I know the title of this email has you salivating for details, or at the very least wondering what the heck is going on.  When last many of you heard from me it was January and God had just been opening up new things and speaking "freedom" over this year.  Much has happened since then and all of it has happened much slower than I would like and in ways I would not have imagined.  I thought I would know plans for the year by sometime in February and obviously that didn't happen.  But that's ok because God's timing is perfect.  It's like he just…knows…stuff.  I will do my best to keep this short, but will most likely fail miserably, as the majority of this is catching you up on the major things and I'll save the other details for later.  

At the beginning of this year I knew God was calling me back to Africa and freeing me up to move.  I did not know how or where but the only door I knew was back with Lasting Impressions in Zimbabwe working with youth doing outdoor and leadership camps.  My friends Shelley and Alistair Croudace and their kids just recently finished their stint here in the US for fundraising, raising awareness, and family time.  As it would happen I'd been praying about going back there for almost two months before they came over and I was looking forward to meeting with them to discuss the possibility of me coming back.  That's when I got hit out left field.

My former roomie and good friend Ty Fleming texted me one afternoon saying I may be getting a call from a woman named Hilliary about Rwanda.  Ty had grown up with her brother and she had just spoken at their church raising awareness and funds for a ministry she ran in Rwanda.  That was all the info I was given and sure enough the next day I got a call from Hilliary.

HIlliary is the Executive Director of Hope For Life Ministries (HFLM) based in Kigali Rwanda.  HFLM aims to transform the lives of vulnerable children living on the streets and their families, through sharing the gospel, discipleship, counseling, basic care, and the resources to break the chains of poverty. The organization runs five key program areas, including: 

1. Rehabilitation Center: provides transitional housing for up to 24 children, offering holistic rehabilitative support in order for each child to make a successful transition into a safer life at home. 
2. Family Empowerment: addresses the barriers inhibiting children from living with their families and offers families the resources necessary to care for their children long-term. 
3. Child Sponsorship: financially and personally invests in the lives of reintegrated children as well as those children still at-risk for abuse on the streets. 
4. Outreach: brings Christ to the local community by providing an opportunity each week for local children living on the streets to drop by our home and receive basic services along with a devotion. 
5. Equipping Nationals: aids the growth of Rwandan people to become Godly leaders by providing trainings and the resources to disciple the boys at HFLM and impact their communities.

 If you would like to read up on the history click the link or wait to hear about it in the near future.  She asked some questions about me and we talked about Africa for a while but she said they were looking for someone to take over her job as Executive Director so that she could move over to fundraising full time as they needed someone for that position.  When asked if I was interested in that being a possibility for me I didn't quite know what to say.  Me?  An Executive Director?  I told her I would be praying about it and get back to her soon.  

A few weeks went by and I felt ZERO peace about taking such a job.  What was refreshing though was that I felt at peace taking that kind of job at a later point in my life when I'm married and therefore have another set of gifts to work with (One Flesh!) and a teammate in addition to experience I will have gained by then.  Almost everyone I talked with, including my best friend Forest, said it didn't sound like me in that job.  God gave me total peace about telling Hilliary "no" and that the job would be better served by someone with administrative gifts and even better by a couple.  None of that was to say I couldn't do the job but that it would be better served by someone with those gifts.  She absolutely affirmed that and said they were looking for a couple to take the job but thought she would throw it out there for me anyway.  

We kept in touch over the next couple months and I was praying about what doors God wanted to open because I was coming knocking.  No more of this whole "God taking me to the door, opening it, and then dragging me through it thing."  This was now "I know who I am and what I wanna do and Imma gonna go get it!"  God has a funny way of answering those kinds of prayers…

As I prayed about where God would want me involved I felt it was only at either Lasting Impressions or HFLM.  I had been so clearly led to both of them and now it was up to me to choose.  At first that was a no brainer.  I had community and experience at LI and none of that at HFLM.  But then funny things started happening.  I told Hilliary I would keep her informed about what happened with LI and would keep her updated.  All of this I expected to happen in the first couple weeks of February or at the latest early March.  Despite being able to see Shelley and the family, which was awesome by the way, we never got to meet before they left for the midwest to see family and friends and raise support.  I even waited as long as I could and tried to get a last minute meeting together.  Nothing happened.  I never even heard back from Shelley and was so confused as to why.

During this time however I had a crazy thought; "Man, wouldn't it be cool to go and live in the house with those boys and just 'be' with them and disciple them?  That would be gnarly and out of my comfort zone while still doing what I am very best at."  I thought and prayed about that for a couple months as an alternative to being the executive director of the home.  I had been invited into the ministry to use my giftings and my time.  It was not a simple "sure, come out and maybe help some" thing.  It was precise, had purpose, and wanted to utilize me specifically.  LI up to this point had not asked me in any way to join them or done so in nearly as specific a way.  I started to have this feeling certain doors were closing…especially since I had been telling God the whole time he would have to very clearly close the door on Zim for me to consider anything else.  Eventually I came to the point where I said the only way I would go back to work with LI was if they were expanding or had specific need of me and my skills and wanted to invite into the ministry as HFLM had done.

About three weeks ago Hilliary and I were talking on the phone and I was updating her on stuff and that I hadn't heard back from Zim at all.  "Interesting…" was her response.  I asked her how stuff was going with the Executive director position and she said they may have found a couple to take the spot.  Then she said something I would not had imagined.  "I don't know if this is even relevant for you or not, Ryan, and I don't know why I'm telling you this, but we had a guy come out and just live at the house with the boys for a few months and disciple and spend time with them just being a godly make role model in their lives.  It was pretty much the highlight of those boys lives."  I almost dropped the phone.  It was basically VERBATIM of what I had prayed the last two months.  Oh yeah, I hadn't told her any of this.  I played it close to the chest.  She then went on to address things about community and bush adventures, two things I need, without me talking about those either.  All of this was in addition to our timelines for me wanting to go this year, and when they needed someone, lining up.  Not bad Jesus.  Not bad.

I got to meet with Hilliary a couple weeks later when she was down visiting her brother in Laguna Beach and we talked for hours and God totally confirmed my calling there.  As I hadn't heard anything back from Shelley this was obviously God answering months of prayer and leading me to the place I needed to be and where he wanted to use me most.  I know that God doesn't like to leave loose ends and as it happened Shelley and the family were at church the next morning before they left that week.  We finally had some time to talk and Shelley totally confirmed all the things I had prayed through and said she had tried to call me a bunch of times but the calls either failed or she had no reception.  Yeah, that sounds like a God sized road block to me.  All in all, everything was summed up, sewed up, and confirmed in a 24 hour period.  Not bad, Father.  Not bad.

Now, here's where that next step begins.  My intention is to move forward as hard and fast as I can with HFLM and I plan to be there for about a year.  Maybe it will be longer or shorter, I don't know.  We will see how it pans out with visas and financial provision.  I am applying through my home church to become a sponsored missionary and am meeting with Kenny, the Missions Pastor, this week to move forward with that plan.  I'm also shooting for being there the first week of September as Hilliary leaves to go back next month and will be there until the end of September.  Depending on if they do find someone to come and take her spot will also decide whether she comes back in November.  I would like to have as much time with her there as possible so I can be properly acclimated especially if I'm to be alone for a while after she's gone.  More details on this with will be forthcoming as well as financial support information and updates on how it all moves forward.  For now though, these are what you can be praying for:

• For preparation of my submission to the elder board and for my meeting with Kenny.  Please pray everything goes smoothly and that hearts are tuned into what the Spirit is doing.
• For financial provision.  I have a substantial goal in mind and am praying big.  Pray that God would turn the hearts of those to give and be part of what God is doing with this time.
• Be praying for the proper visa when I get in country.  Once I am in the country I can then apply for a two year work visa, otherwise I must remain on a 3 month tourist visa that I must leave the country for a time in order to come back.  People have been deported for doing that too many times and not getting the proper visa so please be praying now, well ahead of time, that I can have the proper papers.
• For my health.  I have had a hole in my eardrum for the last 18 months and need to get it taken care of before I go to reduce risk of serious infection not to mention recouping hearing loss.  Please pray for the proper insurance, doctor, and overall situation for this to happen.  Also pray for protection form disease while I am there.  No such thing as starting too early!
• Please be praying for my heart that God would prepare it to do this incredibly important work and that he would prepare the hearts of the boys in the home to receive it.  Also pray that he would guide me in what direction I should be leading the boys in the home.  I know he has a plan.  This is not MY ministry.  It is HIS and we are simply being invited to join Him in it.  Super awesome.

That's all for now.  I realize this is the most extensive preview/jumpstart/catch-up email ever but it had to be done.  God has been moving like crazy and I want you all to know all about it!  In the coming weeks I will be sending out support letters but these will be the LAST LETTERS BY MAIL you will receive from me (if you haven't received one before send me you address and you will).  Mailers are no longer a viable financial option and everyone uses email anyway.  That and it's hard to send actual letters when you're in another country.  I will also work to make my updates more visually appealing, concise, and just cooler.  Stay tuned for what those are gonna look like.

I pray blessings over each of you in Jesus's name and look forward to making more strides in this journey with you, my team!

In Christ,

Ryan Dalbey